My Summer of Baseball

Apparently I'm Not the Fan I Thought I Was

After 54 home games and close to that many TV games, I feel like I've become fairly knowledgeable about baseball.

I also feel like a very committed fan - last night I had a home run of a headache, but off to the ballpark I went.

And it was a great game!

But I did see one thing that turned my headache into a grand slam.

Apparently, the Brewers think that 50% of their community isn't smart enough about baseball...which is why the playbill for this homestand is advertising a special class called "Baseball Basics for Women."

So you have to have a Y chromosome to understand the game without formal lessons?

Give me a break. How about "Baseball Basics for Beginners" rather than assuming that it's only the women who don't get it. The blowhard sitting next to me last night sure could have used that course.

Oh, but he's a man, so he must know everything about sports. Sheesh.

Here's Your Chance

Remember when I started this blog? And you said, oh, I'll write a guest post! I'd love to, you said. You know who you are. Well, here's your chance.

* I'm heading out on the road...and we all know how destructive that is to a good streak.

* I've got a grand slam headache...feels like Gabe Kapler just took a bat to my temple.

* And I'm depressed...but then again, what Brewers fan isn't this weekend.

So please, don't hold back. I'm looking for a pinch poster to get me out of this pinch.

Can You Hear Me Now?

I know I should focus on the game tonight, the pitching debacles and the disappointing loss. But my evening had a moment so much more disappointing that I have to focus on it, instead.

I was at the play Armadale at the Milwaukee Rep. Fantastic actors, great staging, thrilling story. The perfect combination of wit, wisdom, villainy, violence and sex. And that's not to mention the longest stage kiss I have ever seen - it had to be 10 minutes, lasting through an entire scene played out by other characters.

The disappointing part happened at, oh, I'd say about the 2 hour and 41 minute mark (in a 2 hour and 45 minute show). That was when some jag-off in the audience let his phone ring not once but three times while he picked his way down his row and out into the aisle. TO ANSWER IT.

I won't say what was happening on stage at the time, because I hope some of you will go see this wonderful show. But suffice it to say, it was among the most dramatic moments of the entire play.

I, of course, enjoyed it SO much more, with this guy standing just outside the theater door and shouting into his phone, "Yeah, I'm at the THEATER!"

What is wrong with people? Frankly, in my book, that's even worse than surrendering six earned runs in five innings. A lot worse.

A Few Miller Park Rants

Now, I've already mentioned that I have the world's worst headcold, so it should be no surprise that I'm a little less tolerant than usual.

But two things really stand out to me about Miller Park today.

1. Bring back Colin! He used to spin the tunes during the game....you know, filling the time between plays, etc. When Colin was here, there was always great music to set the mood and scare the bad guys. Now, it's the same four songs in every situation, and half the time it's just dead air. If I have to hear the same monotonous replay of "We Will Rock You" for 76 more games this summer, I will probably lose my mind.

2. My favorite laughable ballpark moment this year is the nightly announcement from Time Warner Business Class that they're now providing high speed Internet access at the park. Yea! Except when you keep listening they note: It's in the PARKING LOT. So if you want to get online, you have to leave the park. Great plan. If I can get wifi at Starbucks, McDonalds and every library in the country, you'd think Miller Park could manage it.

Then again, if they did, I'd probably spend even more of the game writing ranting blogs...so maybe they have a plan after all.