Dear Mark,
We are SO glad you bought the Brewers.
You've been great for the team (nearly triple the player payroll!), you've been great for the park (boy does everyone love the Kids Zone!), and your dad sings a mean National Anthem.
There's just one little thing: Could you please stop coming to the games?
I'm no sabermetrics expert, but it seems like there's a connection between your presence in the front row and a Brewers meltdown.
Maybe you didn't notice, but when you were here during the Owners' Meeting, the team fell apart before our eyes. And last night...well, when was the last time Suppan had a disaster like that?
You left the stands and went to a box, and the Brewers lit up again. But then you came back...and we all saw what happened.
So please, take this in the spirit in which it is intended. We love you. We love your team. Couldn't be happier that you are The Man. But, please: Go home. Seriously.
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